Life's just too complicated

Hey

Ugh. I don't know what to do anymore. My life is spinning wildly out of control. I'm finally starting to get out the depression I was suck in, finally starting to feel better, and I just feel like the world is punching me in the stomach, over and over again, not letting me get back up. I've finally managed to convince my parents that even though I'm messed up its not their fault and that everything will be okay in the end, and now the school shrink's called my parents in for a meeting. I bet she also thinks I have an eating disorder. Just because I fainted at school last week everyone seems even more convinced that I'm anorexic. And I am so not.

And I've got so much school work to do I don't even know where to start. I mean for God's sake, I have a test in two days on everything we've learned in that subject in the last two friggin years, a math test on stuff I have absolutley no idea in hell how to do on Friday, a gigantic test which I need at lest two weeks to study for on Sunday, and another impossible test next Thursday. Not to mention regular old homework aand the stupid book I'm supposed to be reading for my literature class. Don't get me wrong. I love to read. But not un-understandable classical crap in Hebrew. Which happens to be as as boring as shit.

And I feel so guilty for whining about this when every minute people in this world are going through much harder things. I feel selfish. I hate feeling selfish because I know I can help people. My friends always come to me when they want to talk. The only problem is that I kind of take away some of their pain and feel it myself. If one of my friends is feeling down I will hurt. I hate that about myself, my hypersensitivity, but I know that without it I wouldn't be able to help others half as much. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared I'm falling again.

Well that was sure a depressing note to end on :(
~Liza